The health care crisis I've been hearing about all these years just hit home today. I received the news that my application for a new health insurance policy with the carrier I've had for years was declined. Now that I won't be able to be on Geoff's insurance, I have to find my own. I'm not sure why I was rejected yet. I'll be getting a letter in the mail soon telling me the reasons. I imagine it's all that depression and anxiety. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I'm in good health. I'm relatively young. I haven't had a single hospitalization for physical or mental health reasons. I'm going to need more health care because the stress of finding health care coverage is going to take a toll on my health!
I'm not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that I had three clients in a row right after I got the news. It was good because it distracted me and kept me from panicking. It was a bad thing because I just wanted to cry and freak out but had to hold it together. I'm more aware than ever of how privileged I've been all my life to never worry in a significant way about health care coverage. I've always, always had insurance. I'm not sure what will happen if no one accepts me or if the cost becomes prohibitive. I feel pretty vulnerable and adrift. I think I have a much better idea of why people stay in marriages and jobs where they aren't happy. Is that the choice we have to make? Jeez. And what about the people who don't even have that choice. I trust that I'll figure something out.